Sunday, November 30, 2008

the anti of the matter

The anti of the matter

(you know that voice; that always wants to fuck everything up; that's there for you in the worst possible way to make you fall. This voice tried to kill me once. I got a trespassing order against it and had to throw it out of the house. I met it again recently at a party. Thought I had gotten rid of it. It seemed well; better, ; it apologized for the past; I knew it was the same. I forgave it. but I know it is the same. I forgive ; & i fear karma will be its bane. why fear ? It wants to reconnect the nodes, I want to keep them severed; they have other junctions now that weave into beds and bridges and fine fabric. )

feathers whisper
(in his voice)

'I fear eye not seeing me
Hiding from the eye; I see; I cry; toobe y seen by the eye .
He does not see me ? ! did I see him ? '

i refer to It
as a voice
It does not speak
make sounds or words
yet It filters its expressions through
- it is Lingua the lord ;
creation out of no
purpose - - - .. no -
purpose pyre of
stagnataion , smoke
puffing mountain-tops
to tell the villagers
- clusters of neurons –
to panic - ideas
are tearing at their
walls - pulling itself
apart dis- associatie
twin electron pairs
loosing rhythm

reverberate in hyper-
linked images - dynamic
and moving
all recognizable , stored
smells , sometimes just

recency pulls a flat screen
over pooled memories
threaded onto bundles
of pathways
ways that lead no
where if you look
and everywhere
if you perceive
association dance in your aura
like history this
memory is a highly
edited meme-infused episode
… well a series of episodes
like the photo-shopped version
of a model or our previous prime minister

this is more like
the edited hard-drive
that holds all the versions
in the crop:
‘ the made-up younger versions
the drugged-up older version
the funny, the twisted, the nice the sad etc etc etc etc
hard to recall which ones
got saved
which ones deleted ?
what he .. ? .. / I named it
and which one I am
looking at right now

was it labelled wrong ?
Did I edit this ?
or is this real ..

this intangible

presence , a new label ?

it sutured itself
onto my visuo –
like migraine dots onto
my internal perception
it sutured itself onto
my neck

stitches bleeding a bit
cleansing in ionised
silver ( ag ) water ,
cloves, myrrh & eucalyptus

gargling , swallowed a bit of the oil
& vomit
chocolate and ice cream
onto the ground

& I pull off
this label , - tag

..won’t read it
throw it away
have to read it
can’t help but read it
burn its body

cant help to hear it
kick its ashes

you are still here
as I crack you out of my spine

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